The Life of Helen!

Well my dear triffids… it seems poor Helen is desperate for the fame of days gone past.

 

Over the last few weeks the class have been shocked, scared and amazed at the pure naivety of our friend Helen. Here’s the story…

 

four weeks earlier.. Life drawing session #2.

The class had settled in and were awaiting the model so as to begin the life drawing class. There was a buzz in the air, It was so nice to get away from the computers.

with the arrival of the model so near, every time the door opened they looked, unfortunately for the retinas of the class, they all looked one too many times.

Waddling down the hall as fast as her short, stubby legs would carry her. An excitable Helen rushed to get to the room where the life drawing class was being held before it started, now she wasn’t to partake in the class today, and still no-one knows exactly why she showed up.. But nonetheless she did.

Helen could feel the excitement bubbling up inside her as she approached the door. She burst in with a huge beaming smile on her face, scuffed her way up to the tutor, and said something. We don’t know what she said, because every single eye in the room was glued to helens head..

OMFG she had gone blonde… well some variation of going from dark to blonde and ending up with a nasty sort of gingery colour.

Every single student in the room was speechless, Had she finally gone fully insane? Was she being initiated into a new Wikken/Jedi Cult.. Or  did she honestly think she looked awesome??

 

Well, The Head went through a couple more stages of Nasty gingery/white/black colours, and each day Helen was stoked to be different and exciting. Rooms were abuzz with chitchat when she entered once again , Life was good.

 

Fast forward two weeks..

Helen began to realise that although everyone was chittering when she was in the room, No one was actually interested in how, why, or when she had had her hair done.. Oh No!

What if she looses this attention also? She no longer has the power of wisdom.. what if she lost the power of trend-setting too??

Helen spiraled back into the black abyss of panic and fear.  She had to change it up again and Quick!

The next day she  Waddled down the hall as fast as her short, stubby legs would carry her. An excitable Helen rushed to get to class, This would be the day she FINALLY caused a stir and people would want to know her, be her friend, and ultimately BE HER!

Helen bounded into the room, Head held high, Giant Grin on her face!

 

The Head was now Pitch Black!

Whispers and Snickers travelled around the room faster than ever before.

Why?, Who?, Where?, How?, What?

And once again my dear little triffids Helen has thrown a curve ball, Has she honestly gone insane, Or is she really experimenting in combining Wikken and Jedi business..??

Whatever it is/was/could be, I tried my hardest to gather photographic evidence of the Gingery Stages. But we missed our chance, So I Promise to get  the last installment of The Head, and pray that this is where it ends..

 

Goodnight my dear Lil Triffids.

Thursday 4th of August was the night of class drinks….

 

Helen rushed about feeding the triffids and scooping up the children to send them to the babysitter, ‘tonight will be the night that everyone will understand’.

 

Helen had big plans for tonight that was for sure, She had her little mental comment cards all lined up with fun facts and unknown mysteries, But little did she know that her night would take a messy turn to say the least.

 

But, for know Helen donned her pagan symbol necklace (brand new from the crystal shop on the corner), bundled up her husband to show off to her  classmates and set off into the night…

 

She arrived at the pub bursting with excitement, everyone was there!

at first she began to doubt herself.. would anyone even notice she was there? Then, amazingly, one of the youngsters asked her to go get a drink with her.. something called a shot but anyway she went for it…

 

that was the last thing Helen remembered from that night…

 

{ Imagery Below }

She waddled into the class proclaiming loudly “There’s free Hot Dogs outside!, There’s free Hot Dogs out in the square!”, Quickly spying the two girls where still playing the games, she hurried up to them.. “you guys must be getting hungry?!, There’s free Hot Dogs out in the square if you want one! You must be hungry.”

Although the girls continued to play for another couple of minutes, Helen knew she had made an impression when the girls soon gave up and went to their lunches.

One week later another opportunity arose, but unbeknownst to her it was to fail miserably.

The tutor had been asked a wonderfully complicated question.. Helen settled in to wait for the perfect timing for her input, this was going to be amazing, she could feel it in her bones..

Suddenly, Helen found that she had no idea what the tutor was talking about, and worse still it seemed that everyone else was following perfectly.

Helen Panicked! her breathing became shallow as she felt her mojo slipping away. She had to rectify the situation and fast!

With a desperation that could only resemble that of  an addict searching for a fix. She hastily pulled up the illustration she had completed the week before.

“Here’s my Illustration” she hastily spat out at the tutor while he was in mid sentence..

the class fell silent, they all waited with baited breath.

the tutor paused, Mid sentence. Assessing the options, What to do, What to do…

He exhaled, (*Rather loudly I might add), Exasperated.

After a moments hesitation, He carried on with his answer to the previously asked question…

A snicker rang silently through the class.

Helen reeled from the blatant “blow off” from the tutor.

What had gone wrong! A black hole of empitness opened up in front of her, and Helen’s worst fear seemed truer than ever before. She had lost her touch.

No longer did she hold the power to wow crowds with her patented pearls of wisdom, No longer were the silences filled with awe, But instead an awkwardness that sent chills down her spine.

Helen had to do  some serious soul searching, What was she doing with her life? and how was she supposed to find another Niche so late in the game?

 

Well my sweet little triffids, Our poor Helen seems to be having a late Mid-life crisis. So I don’t know when she’ll be back in the game.. but a new post will appear whenever she makes another attempt at her future.

Until next time.

Helen tried her best to flourish in HCC but for some reason she seemed to be hitting and missing, What was wrong with her!

Poor Helen, she was afraid she may be losing it. What will she do?

Helen needed to reflect, so she took a break from her mission and focused on tending her triffid farm. She pondered, and tended, tended and pondered..

Finally she wondered if she weren’t over-thinking this whole thing. Wasn’t she at her best when she spoke on a whim?

Finally believing that she had solved her freak lapse in academic abilities. Helen picked herself up and settled in for a new day.

Many opportunities came and went, and Helen began jumping at them, Willing something to stick. But nothing seemed to work.

She tried to share facts in Photography, Multimedia, she even had a go at GDS. But nothing was as it used to be.

A dark cloud loomed on Helens horizon as she came to the realisation that she may not have the effect on her students and tutors as she had once had..

Then, as if fate itself had heard her pleas for help, a treat from the tutor in the form of  a gaming console plopped itself in her lap! Finally! new pastures with endless amounts of fun facts just dying to be shared!

the Young One and the one the call Bee. Played endless games of tennis, bowling and other various sports games. Feeling as though she may not get a chance to share knowledge. She went for a lunch break. Then suddenly, she found herself amongst the greatest discovery she had ever made! Free ‘Hot Dogs’

(*note, she means a sausage sizzle put on as part of re-Oweek).

With a new found spurt of energy she gathered her free hot dog and high-tailed it back to class to share this precious nugget of knowledge with her classmates.

Monday 9th- Media Presentation.

Today Helen Awoke with a twinkle in her eye. The chat with her husband last week really put her spirits right, She was amped and well prepared for today. She just knew that today was the day, that the students and tutors of her class will be in awe of her talents once again.

As each student took their turn presenting their projects to the class, Helen was starting to feel nervous, something she hadn’t felt since her younger days as a sword fighter. She started taking deep breaths and remembering what her husband had said the week before.

Finally and 9:15 it was her turn. So far she had seen some stellar stuff from the other students, She took one last deep breath and began to load up her presentation But poor Helen was so nervous, She had set everything up on the wrong computer!  Another 10 minutes later she was up and running, Sharing her story idea with the class in such detail she could feel the awe as if it were a tangible being sitting right there in front of her. The Students were silent as she showed them her animation which she had worked so hard on the week before. As her presentation drew to a close, She was surprised to find that many of the students had questions. This was highly unusual as she felt she had described the idea in perfect clarity. She decided to save face and proclaimed “I’m not very good at explaining things”. Then to her horror GLENN pointed out that she had in fact not provided what was stipulated in the brief and in turn meant that her ideas were unclear. The time was now 9:50 and the class was itching for a coffee break. But one more student had to present.

Helen’s heart sank as that Young One from the table next to hers, The one that was always laughing, and showing her up. (Of course all a part of our dear Helen’s over active imagination). Got up to present, This was one classmate that Helen had not yet succeeded in teaching yet, It seemed the arrogance of youth still clung to her, So Helen expected this presentation to take much longer.

“I Know everyone wants their caffeine fix”, she said, “So I’ll keep it short, sweet and to the point.”

Helen was appalled to find that this youngsters presentation only took  ten minutes. But the point had gotten across. How had this happened? Surely someone so young couldn’t have such a clear message. Helen’s idea had taken much longer to describe. Helen decided that it wasn’t youth that made the Girl’s presentation so short, it was Simpleness. Clearly the Young Girl was simple and had no way of creating ideas as in-depth and engaging as Helen’s.

The truth is the Young Girl’s idea wasn’t overly simple, but had been well summarised for the purpose of the task, Helen didn’t have it in her to do that, She lived on details and imagery. She Loved the whole process of taking her listeners on a journey. She decided that the Young Girls presentation was insufficient and felt the class agreed. Never-the-less The rest of the week was rather average, No major discussions, and She had run late a couple of times.

Friday night, Helen decided changes needed to be made. The whole malarkey was taking a toll on her optimism, She needed a new focus. Then she remembered how fun HCC was last year, That’s  what she needed! a new focus, something academic where discussion was encouraged, and facts and figures ranked over talent.

HCC was going to be her best subject yet! The rest won’t know what hit them!

Will Helen impress the HCC teacher? Or is Helen’s time in the spotlight over?, If so is Helen strong enough to fight for it back?

Until Next time, my dear little triffids.

 

Tuesday May 3rd- Photography Hand in.

As Helen gathers her things for the day, it is with a heavy heart. Today there will be little content to the class, as it is hand-in day. A sad Helen makes her way to class.

She arrives and sits down dejectedly at her seat. She’s been having a hard time lately, with the tutors giving her little opportunity to speak in discussions, and on the days she has been late, finding students sitting at her desk. But still she ploughs on.

Class begins with the handing out of the new assessment. This is accompanied by some videos, and then being left to finish off the assessment for Hand-in, It’s at this time that Helen thanks her lucky stars that she leaves this sort of thing to the last minute. She is so good at Procrastination.

The afternoon comes, and Helen had been feeling so sorry foer herself that she forgot all about QUINN. Her heart feels like it my explode with excitment and joy at the forthcoming afternoon session. The session commences, and She is treated to a Site specific shoot. To the Nurses Training Room!

Horaay! a pretend hospital! Helen can barely contain herself as she thinks up all the fantasmical things she can do in here, Oh! theres so much to teach! QUINN might just like her afterall. Then QUINN begins to teach about lighting and Helens heart sinks. There will be no group disscussion, there will be no opprtunity to spread wisdom and knowledge today. Rejected once again, she goes about trying to at least create some wonderful imagery to show QUINN.

The rest of the Week brought no more happiness for Helen, As both the tutors and the Students seemed to be more interested in the Assessments than the Wisdom she possesed. Even the pop quiz in HCC brought no joy for Helen, as she was not called upon, and if she was She got so flustered she forgot the correct answer and was humilated instead.

Poor Helen, Upon returning home, she had a good talk to her Husband:

“What should I do? Thier just no interested anymore.” Helen Cried.

“Well I was talking to my spirit guide today trying to plan our next contact with the spirits at the lake, and was told that on the journey to enlightenment are barriers, and those barriers are not to hinder but to strengthen, making the journey more meaningful and fruitful.” Her Husband Replied, “Just Keep doing what you’re doing, Don’t let it get you down.”

After this chat with her husband, Helen Felt much better and sat down at her desk at home, to work her hiney off for the media class next monday, It was a time for Helen to bring the Sexy back to class.

Will next weeks multimedia class bring to Helen all the glory of days gone by, Or have the students and tutors moved on from her forever?.

TBC…

(This one’s gonna be a three part, our helens been busy the last couple of weeks.)

Since our last episode, Helen has been hard at work. Preparing herself for the assessments that are coming up, Prime opportunity to both impress and teach the tutors.

May 2nd 2011: Term two commences,

A bright and sunny morning awakens dear Helen, and she rises full of hopes and desires for the day. Happily going about her morning routine, feeding triffids, and categorising her Star Trek collection in chronological order, She can barely contain her excitement for the days class. See Mondays are Media Days, and today she has Glen. The foreign tutor from somewhere in the Waikato. He has a gallery and an agency, and Helen desperately wants to impress him in hopes of future employment. So off she goes, into the sunrise to begin the day.

As the students trickle into the class, Helen Rushes to make it on time, Darned Traffic!. She makes it in by the skin of her nose as her dear husband would say. She sits down and logs on, ready for GLENN to begin class.

Today the students are asked to show GLENN where they are up to in their Assessments. Helen readily shows him her online presentation and after some constructive criticism, he moves on. Helen leaves the days class disgruntled that she was not given even the slightest chance to participate in group discussions. There was so much the others needed to know and only her to teach them!!!.

What will Helen to for the rest of the week?, Surely it can’t all be checkpoints and one-on-one time! How will she cope?,

Suddenly she remembers to her great horror, That tomorrow is the photography Hand-In day, and that in turn meant very little class time. Oh What a Dreadful week this is turning out to be.

Will it get better for dear Helen? Or will she be driven to take a personal day. Something she never does out of fear of missing a vital teaching opportunity….

TBC..

Over the next few weeks, She worked night and day to ready enough works to impress QUINN and evoke some discussion, While QUINN tried his hardest to fill his schedule so as to spend  as little time after class sessions as possible, as he was fast learning that our dear Helen is no ordinary student, hungry for knowledge. She hungers to teach the wisdom of her ways, and amaze everyone with her quick wits and skills in the art of computers.

 

QUINN’s fears where none other than confirmed on one fateful afternoon, The session had gone well, with little input from Helen, But he did not know her ways, She had been saving her stories for after class, when she could be alone with him.

She had spent hours over the weekend taking pictures of waterfalls, and it’s surroundings, knowing for sure that her skills would blow him away. After class was dissmissed, she hurried to her computer, and brought up all her hard work. Excitedly she calls QUINN over…

Three pictures in, and QUINN is thinking of an escape, why did no one warn me?, He wonders, but nonetheless, he thinks of a perfect excuse, Setting up gear! He says as much to Helen and makes a mad dash for the door, Moving and talking simultaneously, there’s no time to waste!

“But QUINN I have more to show you, I want to know what you think” – Cries Helen desperately as QUINN makes his escape,

“Yep, I’ll be back in 2 seconds” – He says hastily, while both he and the others present no he plans to never return if possible.

QUINN steps out the door and takes a deep breath, it’s not until then that he realises that in his haste he has forgotten all the gear and left it in the classroom!, He has no choice but to bide his time and wait until she gives up and leaves..

 

Helen stares at the door for a few minutes while she thinks of what to do next, I suppose I’ll wait, she thinks to herself, ten minutes later, she realizes that QUINN must have got caught up and decides to head home and prepare for tomorrow.

The left over classmates sigh with relief, and carry on with their work,

QUINN sees Helen leave from the safety of the staff room, and dashes back into the classroom to grab his gear and head home to the safety of his home, “see you next week guys”, he cheerily says to the remaining classmates, glad to have dodged the proverbial bullet.

(Note from the author)- It has been a long time since we’ve delved into the goings on in Helen’s life. This is not only to a mountain of work for myself, but is also due to Helen herself taking a break from her antics to gather her wits and make plans for 2011, This my dear readers is where we pick up…..

 

Term 1 2011:

 

a bright sunny day and the students of Year 2 pile into the computer lab to kick off a new year of exciting adventures of creativity. Many are holding their breath to see if Helen is to return. Ten minutes till the year officially kicks off, and In she walks, all in a fluster, It was extraordinarily hard for her to say goodbye to her dear triffids, they’ve come ever such a long way over the Christmas break.

Everyone settles down as the tutors introduce themselves, This year we have ANNE, MARK, the new elective teacher GLEN, and a new photography teacher, QUINN. At this news Helen could barely contain herself. She had feared there would be noone with whom to share her pearls of wisdom this year, having taught ANNE and MARK all she could previously.

QUINN was one she just new shed get along with, and the poor guy had no idea. She hastily started to plan her curriculum for these poor unsuspecting newbies.

Introductions over, it was time for a break and Helen was to discover another poor unsuspecting bloke, who had the misfortune of choosing a seat at her table. Helen was full of hope for the new year…..

 

A few weeks down the track and regular class resume. Helen tries her hardest to further ANNE’s and MARK’s education but it seems they have lost interest with her spectaular wisdoms. She hasnt had as much luck in stunning her classmates so far either.

 

Then Photography started and it was time to officially introduce herself to QUINN. Oh! how she had planned this day!, having practiced what she would say for hours in the mirror last night till it was perfect, she takes a deep breath and prepares herself for the amazement that was sure to follow.

The time had come for her to introduce herself and share with her classmates what she loved most about photography..

which, Of course is ghost photography, Searching for spirits and capturing them on film, Nothing is more exhilarating.

QUINN was speechless for a few minutes, then realizing no one was saying anything he quickly fains interest so as to diffuse the awkward situation he seemed to somehow find himself.

Helen was overjoyed when she recieved positive reinforcement, and knew from then on that she and this particular tutor would have a flourishinf realtionship, This was one she could share work, and knowledge with and be appreciated for it..

The rest of the class felt the sense of doom as they saw how Helen reacted to QUINN, The immediately felt sorry for this poor fellow who has stumbled into something bigger than he could ever imagine….

Holidays are over, and Helen Prepared herself for the first day back at school.

as she feed her triffids, she idly wondered what her classmates did during the break and what stories she would share,, there were so many!.

Helen arrived to class early only to find that there was a class already in progress! 6 of her classmates and MARK were all sitting at computers studying profusely the task at hand..

Immediately she thanked her lucky stars that she arrived early! and showed how proud of herself she was by repetadley telling said classmates “how lucky it is that i came early”

so, the first day of school ended with it being her Lucky day.. she shared this with the other class mates later that day.. they also agreed that today was Very lucky..