Month: March 2010

class went back in, afraid of what else could go wrong today,

IAN left them to play around and study what they had just learnt,

Helen was as happy as larry, conversing with Big Q her no.1 fan and feeling awfully good about herself again,

IAN got the classes attention once again to demonstrate one last little trick,

how to use tabs, the class was silent as he explained the simple  procedure..

Helen noticing she was nearly out of time for the day piped up, interrupting the tutor to say

“OH that’s easy”,

the tutor, clearly having had enough for one day hastily replied

“Helen don’t say that”, and gestured toward the rest if the class lost for words as he did not want to be rude. He dismissed the class for the day having reached his wits end.

Helen left immediately, her triffids were missing her by now, and she must return home.

but never fear, for tomorrow is another day..

Thursday dawned on a Helen with a renewed passion,

she eagerly rushed to class, as today was software and she was bound to teach IAN something..

Halfway though class, she got her chance..

the server failed and left everyone stranded, IAN went to investigate, just as he was about to step out the door she calls

“You know you can just click FORCE QUIT, and it will go away”

a confused IAN took a moment to compose himself..

“No, its the Server thats down it has nothing to do with the computers.” IAN tried to explain,

“but you can just click apple/force quit,” Helen insisted

“Its the server thats out, I’m going to fix it right now.” IAN said before quickly shutting the door behind him.

IAN returned triumphant for the moment, and was surprised when Helen seemed to storm out of the room slamming the door behind her, she returned and class could continue, obviously without server access.

class continued nevertheless and the students progressed onto playing with text,

IAN was taking the class through step by step, when our dearest Helen asks once again a question that no-one understood,

IAN did his best to display what he thought she meant, but double checked anyway,

“Is THAT what you meant?”

class broke for break then so the class could collect itself…

LAWYER MAN, having been introduced in the appropriate superheroic manner, began his lecutre..

Copywright…

the students sighed and settled on for a promising lesson of useful information…

LAWYER MAN began…

10 minutes into the lecture someone asks a question,

class spun off onto a tangent and the majority of students wished for death…

Meanwhile Helen was having a panic attack.. How was she going to get her pearls across when so many people had such strong opinions???,

so she clung to the last shred of hope and during a slight pause asks LAWYER MAN…

“If i create something in, say, Photoshop, does Adobe own the copyrights of my creation?”

the class was stunned into silence, Big Q was completely engrossed in  LAWYER MANS answer and had her pen at the ready so as to record it.

“No” he replied

“you own the rights as you are the Original Creator, Adobe only own the copyright for the programs they create..”

the awkward silence that followed was the indicator for ANNE to dismiss the students for a break,

class re-convened and  and the Students were treated to their third research  lecture of the week (note the date =I)

Helen sat back and basked in the morning lecture, she had gotten the reaction of “Awe” from her fellow students once again, and the passion for spreading the knowledge returned once more with more vengence than ever..

Who will save Helen’s classmates, and When will Helen realize exactly what’s going on??

Till Next time, my lil triffids..

Wednesday.. theory day.

Anticipation hung in the air, it was so intense Helen could taste it as she entered the lecture theatre.

she took her seat and prepared herself for todays pearls of wisdom.

ANNE introduces todays guest speaker as LAWYER MAN!,

Helen was impressed and excited all at the same time.. this esteemed LAWYER MAN, has the wits and intelligence to provide the perfect amount of competition, in the battle of wits..

Who will come out on top? What will LAWYER MAN talk about? and will Helen understand any of it?.. or know so much that LAWYER MAN is defeated never to be seen again??

Coffee break went as usual, she had her sandwich and contemplated many things that would stop IAN form humiliating her… 

Class went back in and everyone conveened for a group chat session before continuing with last weeks task.

IAN was chatting away talking about research, and HELEN was eating it up..

although little did she know, (or perhaps did it on purpose to impress a certain prograrmming tutor) that the students behind her were able to see through her spandex/lycra blend pants… 

with such an enormous amount of snickering behind her, Helen was a little disgruntled by the interuptions, she was thinking about saying something when class was dismissed for the day. 

off Helen went to feed her triffids in her see through Spandex/Lycra blend pants, to put another day to rest.

her classmates sincerely hope she wears the pants on monday as NIGEL would not be able to resist that white singlet tucked in… 

Till next time….

Tuesday, 

a respectable day for Helen, she had collected herself from her encounter with the enchanting NIGEL and was preparing for another day with IAN.

she entered the class to find that today was Typography day again.

IAN was going over the new brief for the second assignment when suddenly an opportunity to confuse everyone surfaced…

slowly she raises her hand (the class cringes – never a good sign)

“can the paper be white? and not counted toward the two colour specification.. you see white is NOT a colour” Helen smirked at the dumb-striken face of the tutor,

(in reality, it was MASSIVE awkward silence, and IAN was struggling to comprehend the question… but back to the point.. ~~o)

He replied, “white is a colour, as white is white… but i guess it could also be considered a tint, it all depends on the theme you choose.”

(Well done IAN, nicely sidestepped,)

Helen was thwarted, It angered her how IAN had a special knack for doing this. she would have to build some self-defense mechanisms to combat this little inconvenience.

so, will Helen make it through the rest of the day without being humiliated further? or will she make a complete arse out of herself?

After the coffee break, Helen bunkered down for a hard afternoon of impressing NIGEL,

Naturally he played hard to get (aka Blatantly ignoring her),

But as we are well aware, our lovely Helen doesn’t back down from a challenge,

She WILL claim NIGEL for herself, and teach him all there is to know about programming, as well as throwing a few fun facts as well…

I mean she does have programming every monday,he will not get away.

so Helen left class formulating a plan to claim NIGEL, and create the perfect triffid tribe. 

till next monday NIGEL.. 

****a word of warning to the wise, always keep an eye out for the triffid bitch slaps, that shit will STAIN!!!!

Helen was excited as she entered the class room for the programming class, 

mondays were her favourite.

Class started and Helen was shocked to find that there was a new tutor and a new programme! 

the tutor introduced himself and instantly she was bewitched!, 

the tutor introduced the programmes and let the class go with a little task of creating text pictures…

“I already know how to make these!” she said

“I remember seeing them in e-mails from my friends”

as usual she was meet with an awkward silence which she took (as usual) as quiet reverence for her intelligence. 

What else will she teach today?? and will she and new programming teacher NIGEL ask for tips on educating the class… could a new romance be budding between the two???

Helen arrived to class early again so as to nab her seat in class… 

“those young ones do like to tease me ..”  she thought as she logged onto her account, proud to have outwitted them again.

then the time came to present their ideas.. 

excitedly Helen took her seat around the table and patiently listened to everyones ideas…

Finally it was her turn.. 

she “dazzled” them with her concept, and her clever idea to commission someone else to do it.. 

             – the marketing director was well and truly confused.

After getting some interesting feedback and having been decidly insulted by the tutor, a diminished Helen, slinked away to her Triffid-mobile, and drove home to her babies.. 

Tomorrow is another day…

friday  morning, dawned on a new chance for Helen.

With every sunrise Helen awakens with a bright new attitude and the chance to enlighten her classmates with more useless shit… 

Friday began as any other would, Morning triffid feed, then a quick sword fighting session before class.

Today was an auspicious occasion, the class was proposing their concepts for a new bag to the marketing director…

Will they like her ideas? or will she meet her demise?? or will she finally find fame and fortune????